Against Your Will

Another AP English assignment... not good. Jackson's made us write two of these things in three days. Definitely not boding well.

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I’m sure I can come up with something. It just might take a few days… OK! How about my goshdarned brain? SOMEBODY has a thing with trying to make me MORE than I really am. EVERYDAY they want me to run, study, practice, blah blah dee blah. Only they do it in a very pestering, aggravating manner! I DON’T CARE if my SAT essay never gets higher than 8! I’m not planning my whole life based on my SAT Writing scores! This same person focuses on my faults and flaws, and they seem to NEVER notice when I do something well. So, what about me has this person tried to change? My habits: the way I do my homework, the way I handle stress, the way I spend my little free time. They have changed my friends (although that seems to have worked out alright), my clothes (but I hate clothes shopping anyway), and my schedule (why must I wake up so dreadfully early on weekends? I’m up before six a.m. five days a week!) I have had to fight tooth and nail to continue my moments when I am allowed to read books NOT required for school. I have to explain everything I do, and HOW it’s actually homework, and if I’m done, my nose gets shoved in a giant SAT review book. And that doesn’t smell too nice.

I find that people who try to change what I like and/or do do not know me very well, even though they are trying to change me. They see someone who is not the ideal student, not the world’s fastest and most in-shape athlete, not the friendliest girl on the block. And I know I’m not those things either. Just try not to rub it in, if you please. I’m not going to get much better than this until I GO somewhere new, surrounded by new people, new environments, new opportunities. So until then, live with the way I am. XP